By Korbin Milo
(Korbin is a journalist with the Focus Media Arts Centre)

The “Boy Code” is an unwritten set of societal expectations about what it means to be a boy or man in our society. Interestingly enough, many of these expectations are taught as early as kindergarten, and consist of phrases like “Be a Man” or “Man Up”.

Growing up in a diverse community like Regent Park, which also bears the negative stigma of gangs and gun violence, is there an added expectation for racialized youth to live up to the expectations of coming from a “tough” neighbourhood?  Does strict adherence to this code among peers guarantee safety and social acceptance?

In this video podcast a group of BIPOC youth from Regent Park investigate why the “male experience” can vary so greatly amongst themselves, and their non-BIPOC peers.  What does it really mean to be a man?

The Boy Code can be classified by clothing, personal interests, emotional expression, social interactions, and public perception.

This code is based on an outdated presumption that gender is binary. Gender conditioning begins at birth and becomes more rigid as people age. A lot of work is being done today to challenge gender roles, assignments, and prehistoric requirements surrounding social acceptance and identity. Deconstructing “gender norms” within a group of young males provided a unique opportunity for each youth to define for themselves what is needed to be “man” enough. Gender expression and identity are experienced along a spectrum rather than on opposing sides like previously taught.

Emotional reactions and expression are controlled by an automated system found in every person. The gendering and gatekeeping of these natural responses further complicate the navigation of the human experience. One youth expressed indignantly; ”I should be able to have feelings about something, and express it however I want.”

In this podcast, BIPOC youth from Regent Park explore how toxic masculinity and anti-black racism has combined to impact on them.

Next time the term, “man up” is thrown at you, be aware that these words are an attempt to make you act in a certain stereotypical way. Don’t let someone put you in a box.